May 7, 2012

Danny Devito Fan Club letter

Dear Mr. Devito,

I just had my 500th viewing of Throw Momma from the Train, and I had a very clear vision during the laundromat scene. I would like you to consider legally changing your name to Owen Lift. Now, don't get me wrong: you're a perfect Danny Devito; maybe the most perfect Danny Devito who ever lived. But you would be a perfect Owen Lift, too. Think about how much fun it is to say 'Owen'. And think of the perks: Owens Anonymous? Automatic entry. You could be mayor of Owentown (population: you and another guy named Owen) by 2013. The first Owen Lift™-brand elevator? You'd take the maiden voyage. It's the opportunity all Owens/Dannys have been waiting for since the War of Many Owens ended in the early-70s. But don't just take my word for it. Let's see what Randy has to say:

"I told you I didn't want to be interviewed."

- Randy

Danny has already lived a thousand lifetimes. It's time to give Owen the Danny Devito of a lifetime.

Until then,

Robert Feathers, DDFC member 3,458,996

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