Oct 23, 2017

Football phrases diary, part 4

Games played from 10/13 - 10/22

California-Washington State, 10/13, ESPN

"near the sticks"
"paid dividends"
"pick six"
"chunk plays"
"Pac 12 after dark" (3)

Ohio State-Nebraska, 10/14, Fox Sports 1

"puts on the after burners"
"keeps the chains moving"
"from the shadow of their own end zone"

Georgia State-Louisiana Monroe, 10/14, espn3.com

"on all cylinders" (2)
"amp it up"
"the RPO area of their offense" (2)
"a jack of all trades"
"that has been the bugaboo"

"pre-snap read"
"they're very vanilla on defense"
"turf toe"

Our first turf toe of the season!

"he moves chains"
"the bubble set up"
"third and manageable"

Louisiana-Arkansas State, 10/19, ESPNU

"vocal leader"
"these two camps describe this rivalry as 'healthy hatred'"
"50-50 balls"
"double digit gallop"
"lowered the pads"
"wall of blockers"
"ran out of gas"
"razzle dazzle"
"plus territory"
"we're still more than a week away from Halloween, but the bag of tricks for the Redwolves!"

Memphis-Houston, 10/19, ESPN

Color commentator Andre Ware:

"quarterback pitch man relationship"
"hybrid linebacker-defensive end"
"third and medium"

Third And rankings

1. Third and manageable
2. Third and forever
3. Third and California
4. Third and medium

"chomping at the bit"
"getting a receiver in space"
"they mash the gas"

bumper sticker:

"fleet of foot"
"that's just film study"

Oct 18, 2017

Draft analysis

2017 draft - 1st round

1 - Portland. Elliot Torkelson, Maglio Technical Institute. Torkelson's breath held under mustard set the combine-record (17 minutes, 23 seconds).

2 - Huntsberry. Illio Olladiaye (EEL-EE-O  OLL-UH-DEE-A), no college. Huntsberry takes a gamble with the native of the Woozz Jungle as Olladiaye was a hippopotamus from 1994-2015. To improve his draft stock, had his ears surgically removed and replaced with potato chips.

3 - Sork Valley. Qwan Attley Jr., Queh College and Raisin Bar. Expansion Watersquirrels take the youngest player in the draft, Attley, a third-generation piece of sandpaper. Signability is an issue as agent, pecan, said Attley wouldn’t sign “for anything less than 13 grade school children’s drawings of tomatoes”.

4 - British Columbia. Miles Lemmick, Pepano University. A surprise pick by the Skypencils, who were reportedly looking to forfeit the pick and instead have front office personnel share a bowl of owner Horace Grunfield’s wife Maureen’s beef stew. Lemmick made a name for himself when on the final day of the combine bathed in gravel.

5 - Jasper County. Ewing Zeeble, Vweetley University. As a senior at Vweetley, Zeeble set national records, including most beard hair eaten (1.3 pounds) and purplest bruise thigh or below.

6 - Tallahassee. Ollie, Schlofko University. Scout: “Carries enough goldfish in his socks to make an impact right away, but if it comes down to late-game situations, will he be able to shake off the ’15 national title match loss when he put his fish, Juwon, in his ear?”

7 - San Antonio. Ross Oberman, Poog Cronin College Online. The Ceilingdragons take Oberman, who was last seen in March propositioning with an oak tree for a ride to the airport. While at PCCO, Oberman spent a conference-record 13 consecutive days living in a washing machine.

8 - Lewisville. Hakeem Ernack, Queh College and Raisin Factory. The second Queh College graduate selected, Ernack is expected to compete for one of Lewisville’s vacant leaf pointer positions. Had all 10 of his fingers surgically removed and replaced by green beans as a Christmas present to his former wife, pillow (December, 2006).

Oct 8, 2017

Football phrases, running diary part 3

Games played from 9/29 - 10/7

Nebraska-Illinois, 9/29, FS1

"walk off under his own power"
"speed rush"
"bubble screen"
"eyes to the tuck"


"scoop and score"
"that's a make your quarterback look good moment"
"trying to overwhelm Illinois, like waves on a beach - over and over again until they break"


"gang tackled"
"power football"
"wheelhouse" (2)

USC-Washington State, 9/29, ESPN

"USC, are they battle-tested, or battle-scarred?"
"the 'it' factor"
"fresh legs"

Our first 'fresh legs' of the season!

"that's all want-to and willpower"
"prototypical NFL pocket passer"
"violent hands"
"plus territory" (2)
"he's very cerebral"
"un-Mike Leachesque"

Again -

"un-Mike Leachesque"

Clemson-Virginia Tech, 9/30, ABC

"stem the tide"
"the linebackers are trying to eat tonight too"
"ball hawking safety"

Indianapolis-Seattle, 10/1, NBC

"the 12th man" (3)
"the legion of boom"

Washington-Kansas City, 10/2, ESPN

Hello again, Jon Gruden:

"edge player"
"this Hogs 2.0 outfit"
"situational awareness"

This phrase is 100% nonsense.

"the Toledo Rocket rockin' the NFL!"
"bells and whistles"
"he's been selling chemistry"

I was a boy scout for a couple years, and once a year we'd go around to houses and try to sell items from this giant suitcase to make money for the troup. One of those items was a chemistry set.

THAT'S selling chemistry.

"hard count"
"they bring juice on the opposite side"

Boise State-BYU, 10/6, ESPN

"I love this guy as a football player"
"extremely high football IQ"
"dragged down in space"

Minnesota-Purdue, 10/7, ESPN

Welcome to the Kelly Stouffer Hour, sponsored by Nonsense

"ball hawks"
"continuity up front"
"chip on their shoulder"
"big body tight end "(2)
"splash plays"
"gadget plays"
"RPO - run, pass option"
"multiple personnel groupings"
"hard count"
"pre-snap intel"
"third and forever"
"legacy Boilermaker"
"he's a game manager"

Fresno State-San Jose State, 10/7, ESPN

"rivalries are just what they are: rivalries"

You can say that about absolutely everything, commentator Forrest Conoly. Look:

Cupcakes are just what they are: cupcakes.
Train schedules are just what they are: train schedules.

"handed the keys to the offense"
"a team that plays through the whistle"

Western Illinois-Northern Iowa, 10/7, Panther Sports Network

"bend but don't break"
"a fresh set of sticks"
"pocket awareness"
"change of pace back"

Michigan State-Michigan, 10/7, ABC

"legacy game"
"move the sticks"
"in the trenches"
"exotic pressure"
"the Paul Bunyan Trophy"

San Diego State-UNLV, 10/7, ESPN

"he's going to have to grow up fast in a hurry"


Rest of San Diego State-UNLV game

"student of the game"
"play the sticks"
"hat on a hat"
"old school power back"
"Big 12 flag bearer"
"throwing window"

Previous diaries


Oct 4, 2017


The storm is currently just a depression, so we're pre-naming it 'Nate' in case it becomes a tropical storm?

What if it never turns into a storm? That's a waste of Nate.

And why can't the depression get a name?

Tropical Depression Nadine?
Tropical Depression Kenny?

AND, I think we should start naming every weather situation. I want to see Mid-afternoon Rain Randy, Light Snow Otto, Bit of a Breeze Teresa.

Clear Cathy?

I want to brace myself for Clear Cathy.

All 7!

This is from cbssports.com article on the AL Wild Card Game October 3:

Sep 24, 2017

Football phrases running diary, part 2

Games played from 9/16-9/23

Rice at Houston, 9/16, ESPN

"he plays at pad level"
"get them in space"/"get them on an island"
"going through his progressions"
"moving the chains"

Mississippi State at Georgia, 9/23, ESPN

"tackle box"
"big body receiver"

Houston Baptist at McNeese State, 9/23, FOX

"you have to play four quarters" (said four times)
"second and a mile"
"pick six" (4)
"highlight reel catch"
"shift of momentum"
"Johnny on the spot"

Oklahoma at Baylor, 9/23, FOX

"not necessarily bad blood, but familiar blood...recruiting blood"


"matching some physicality"
"home run threat"
"carry the mail"