Aug 14, 2017

And at No. 5....

I've been searching for a new place to live, and while visiting neighboorhoodscout.com to find the safest places in the United States I found this graphic:














That's right, Ossining, New York residents: the fifth-safest neighborhood in your town resides on Correctional Facility Road.

This of course is the location of Sing Sing Prison, but there are four safer places in the town? I'd be much more comfortable if there were zero.

Apr 13, 2017

Shimples Awards Night

The Shimples Hall of Fame induction ceremony & postseason award show is scheduled for April 19!

* 2017 HOF inductees

- Player's wing: Harriet Wayne, Vito Shelby
- Mascot wing: Noodles IV
- Special contribution award: onion rings vendor Kenneth Welch

* Awards to be given out:

* Coach with worst breath
* Longest ear hair
* Bloodiest elbow
* Chicken nugget toes award
* Loudest spouse
* Largest forehead
* Longest pinch
* Deepest pinch
* Not invited next year


Come join us Wednesday from 7:00 p.m.-10:00 p.m. at the Kaynesport Banquet Hall - 560 Piso Street, SE Kaynesport

Mar 30, 2017

Letters

Toothy Edgar,


The first of all, in case of the stolen dime inn? You've glopped the wrong Kyle, you flumders, I diddle doodle noffing.

Asking my nextstore namer, Ferris, his nieces knees aren't a bees and known my wheelbarrow abouts. I was a home, sleep on a cow.

And asecondary, I would a never vote for these gassers, they pobbily don't even wash their dungers or their jogging straps.


Until, you're a bee hearing,
Shane

Mar 17, 2017

Recent additions to "basketball phrases"

"Teachable moments"
"International flavor"
"Rebounding by committee"
"That's a big mental health basket"
"Resumed basketball activities" 
"Hard hedges"
"Straddling the bubble"
"From bonus land" 

Mar 14, 2017

Kerwin Daniels Memorial League

2017 KDML division alignment


Zugdner Conference

Middle South Division

Jobeek
Wade Blong
Jojo
Von Apier
Dwayne Valley


Pac-West Divison

Tubbleyum
Pollymotzel
Rico Yetz
Krezz City
Mookymotzel


Center Division

Poog Cronin
Bo Hunes
Shouse Family
Eddie Aguayo
Yaycheeze


NorWest

Ofaldu
Owen
The Horace
Koyyo
P.J. Blend


Keekitch Conference

Mid-Pacific

Amanda County
San bleev
San deep
Percy West
The Gwels


Upper Coast

Bobby City
Jay Yonkton
Oz Yorlap
Bingsecka
Glerr Forest


Deep South

Durly
South Bethany
Ywerskie
Todd Kross
Shimples

The Lower Valley

Aogi Sims
Weem County
OJ Kleef
Tito Blue
Hzer



Regular season begins: April 20
All-Star break: August 2
Trade deadline: August 22
End of regular season: October 8
Playoffs begin: October 10
Championship series begins: November 8



Front office

League commisioner - Kirby Perr









President - Wyatt Velonch







Dance team: The Debbies