Editor-in-chief: Dr. Edith Granch

Staff writers: Darren Durly, Dwayne Durly, Emmit Shouse, Vito Shelby, Cito Clyde
Has Anyone Seen My Shoe? correspondent: Kerwin Daniels (missing since March, 2012)
Napkins: Bobby Feathers
Napkin interns: Farrah Perr, Otis Peakaboo
University of Texas A&M correspondent:  Ellis Yaycheeze


Mustard packet mug shots: Ernie Early


(section 2A): Trevin Corey
(section 2B): Connie Simsall
(section 5C): Ezra Ludwick
Assistant gravel: Clem Saturday
Ranch Goggles: Wyatt Kurr Jr.


Photography editor: Akash Shimarod

Staff photographers: Moises Hoyt, Poog Cronin,
Yoyo Salazar, Bob Nerwin
Lettuce-on-railroad-tracks photography: Vivian Crong
Photography intern: Olivia Lukkmaple


VP in charge of pointing: Melanie Garrison
Pointing at leaves: "Eddie" Aguayo, Schlofko Martinez
Staff Pointer: Joe Maglio
Pointing intern: Dimitri Kasbar

Bread crusts

(January-March): Emmit Corey
(April-June): Ferman Joel
(July-September): Keisha Kyle
(October-December): Ernesto Lez

Musical weather reports: Angelo Tweez

Vanessa Harvey fan club president: Dottie Glaze
Vice president: Lobbo Blongamyre
Pelican relations: Victor Corey

Classified ads: Derwood Morris
Peanut butter castles: Dr. Orwin Marshall
Mustard water rehabilitation center director: Mateen Maddox
Herself: Val 
Portraits of Jay Wetzler: Oz Yorlap
Ice cube futures: Junior A. Sherman
Disappointed head shakes: Fern Gary
Clipboard smells: Oscar Rainbow

House Band: The Original Peanut Butter Face
What's under my couch? correspondent: Grongo Zax
Assistant to Mr. Zax: Dermot Walderson
Otis Lazlo biographer: Yoyo Salazar Jr.

Goldfish names


K-P: Helen Aulkerson
Q-U: Oyoyo Coles
V-Z: Lavelle Rondo

Envelope wading pool team: Jay Maglio, Harriet Hay
Wayne supervisor: Wayne Plous
Practice shots: Bernie Quinn

Directions to Clarke Avery’s apartment: Danielle Winseed
Clarke Avery memorabilia/trivia: Danielle Winseed
Assistant to Angelique Shaw

Shimples: Odel Drake
Applesauce sombrero marketing team: Noodles Cronin, Pablo Yaz

Special division

Naming ice cubes, A-K:  Everett Yuel
L-Q: Kiko Clyde
R-Z: Shay Carbo
Ice cube eulogies: Didi Jermong

I'd Like To Change Some Classes ( - founded on Hayleigh Day, 2009

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