Editor-in-chief: Edith Granch

Staff writers: L Vivian Crugg, Ozlo Penny, Eugene Feathers, Gigi Oakley, Dwayne Durly
Rain puddle eulogies: Mia Salazar
Has Anyone Seen My Shoe? correspondent: Kerwin Daniels (* missing since March, 2012)
Napkins ( Bobby's Retrieval

Napkin intern: Olivia Crudge
Kevin locator: Bob Nerwin
F.A.I.O. (Fathers Against Infant Odors) president: Cedric Crisp
Texas A&M University correspondent:  Ellis Yaycheeze


Mustard packet mug shots: Carla Blue


: Jo he-jo Pong
Assistant gravel: P.J. Wheat

Gravel waterfall resorts travel agent: Schlofko Martinez
Eating contest judges: Kiki & Ezra Yoss, Darren Durly
GravelTV president: Tito Tru
Gravel News anchor: Corbin Pearsall


Photography editor: Akash Shimarod

Staff photographers: Moises Hoyt, Yolanda Agauyo, Poog Cronin
Dandelion photography: Rochelle Peeney

Lettuce-on-railroad-tracks photography: Dr. Perry Peach

Photography interns supervisor: Olivia Maple
Photography interns: Aogi Sims, Benjamin "Benny" Clay


VP in charge of pointing: Melanie Garrison

Pointing at leaves: Steve

Pointing at menus:
Diane & Brent Gullickson
Pointing at fire ant hills/possible fire ant hills: Amber Stiggs
Intern: Dimitri Kasbar

Pointing at road signs: Dante Zimecki
Staff Pointer: Victor Corey

Door-to-door doorbell ringing

(January-March): Emmit Corey
(April-June): Barbara "Barb" Blue
(July-September): Keisha Mycoos
(October-November): Edith Lez

(December): Ed Lenzo

Andrea Fleming fan club 

President: Dottie Glaze
Vice president:

Treasurer: Antoinette Zegg
Interns: Lawrence Tito, Rochelle Abernathy

At the bus stop: Emmit Shouse

Pelican relations: Joe Maglio

Classified ads: Bobby
Mustard water rehabilitation center director: Madeline Mugg

Portraits of Jenna Glib: Oz Yorlap
Assistant to Oz Yorlap: Levon L. Kudge
Ferman Joel impersonator: Miranda Clack
Celery: itself

S.P.C.S. (Separation of Paper Clips & Soup) director: Bethany Otto
Naps: Charlie Rockaloo

Disappointed looks: Fern Gary

Head Hubert: Hubert Kittles
The Letter L: The TV Show producer: Ernie Zood
Clipboard smells: Dr. Oscar Rainbow (Assistant: Pablo Yaz)

House Band: Peggy Cliff All Star Jam Band
What's Under My Couch? host: Yoyo Salazar
WUC assistant: Eugene Clevinger
Evening look out: Wyatt Walderson

Otis Lazlo biographer: Grongo Zax

Goldfish names


I-M: Helen Aulkerson
N-Q: Beverly Emmit
R-U: Oyoyo Coles
V-Z: Lavelle Rondo

Goldfish legal rights: Jobeek Alomar & partners

Wayne supervisor: Wayne Kervin

Wayne stand-ins: Wayne Ezzleroth, Wayne Blinky
Wayne intern: Wayne Sawgrass

Green Beans The Musical director: T.K. Sherby

Ranch Goggles: Wyatt Kurr Jr.
Practice shots: Bernie Quinn

Directions to Didi Avery’s apartment: Danielle Winseed
Assistant salad bar: Mel Kemp
K.S.C. (Keeping Snowmen Cold) founder/president: Brevin Yim
Assistant to Mr. Yim:


Commissioner: B.W. Odell
Head referee: Cito Wuzzer

Hall of Fame director: Evelyn Shouse
Official soft drink: Blast!

Special division

Naming ice cubes, A-F: Dimitri Crisp
G-M: Pepe Tiggs
N-T: Derwood

U-Z: Shay Carbo
Ice cube eulogies: Junior A. Sherman


I'd Like To Change Some Classes ( - founded on Hayleigh Day, 2009

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