By L. Vivian Crugg
Staff correspondent
CLUMP COUNTY - Dolph Wingo's diving ankle pinch with six finger snaps left in the 7th and final stanza gave Clump East an 11-9 victory over Murdock in the Shimples League championship game Wednesday. Wingo, who used a salami blinding to reach Murdock territory with 10 seconds to go and the game tied at 9-9, pinched backfield floater Meredith Jelznick on the left ankle and the Muskrats celebrated the franchise's first championship since 2001.
Staff correspondent
CLUMP COUNTY - Dolph Wingo's diving ankle pinch with six finger snaps left in the 7th and final stanza gave Clump East an 11-9 victory over Murdock in the Shimples League championship game Wednesday. Wingo, who used a salami blinding to reach Murdock territory with 10 seconds to go and the game tied at 9-9, pinched backfield floater Meredith Jelznick on the left ankle and the Muskrats celebrated the franchise's first championship since 2001.
"That's why we signed (Wingo) in the off-season and gave him a guaranteed contract made of cheese," said Clump East manager Connie Yi, whose team will bring the Derwood Trophy north of the bacon-wrapped scallop line for the first time since 2010. "He's one of the best this game has ever seen."
Murdock built a 9-4 lead early in the 6th stanza, thanks to Beverly Houk, who had a forehead pinch and two nostril scratches to move into fourth place on the all-time list for face contact. Clump East pulled even early in the 7th after the mother of Murdock middle-crawler Otto Perne ran onto the field to remove a clump of dirt from Perne's face with a moistened tissue. Deloris Perne's infraction, which could've led to Murdock's disqualification, was reduced to a hysterical trespassing foul after a last-second penguin bribe.
"Put in your story how well my son played. He's a good boy," she said.
"Put in your story how well my son played. He's a good boy," she said.
Wingo was also the hero in Clump East's semi final win over South Maglio as the middle crawler's successful VCR toss late in the 1st stanza of extra snaps put the Muskrats in the title game. The 33-year old Wingo, who is the tallest player in league history (8 road cones), dedicated Saturday's victory to his electric razor, which finally stopped working Friday afternoon.
"This is for Veronica," Wingo said.
Clump East is planning a parade through the alley of raccoons on Friday, starting at 9:00 a.m. when the team will be given the peas to the city
"We're going to paint the town red. Literally," said Yi. "I'm not sure it's allowed, by law, but we bought 500 gallons of paint and we're certainly not going to let the players drink it. We don't want another 2016."
