Moncks Corner, SC
Dec 18, 2016
Dec 14, 2016
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 20, 2016
Oct 7, 2016
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 10, 2016
Aug 18, 2016
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 6, 2016
Jul 24, 2016
Jun 22, 2016
May 9, 2016
Record review
I'm always looking to add to my record collection, and during trips to Goodwill or a thrift shop will occasionally find a gem.
Now, I'm not talking about something like when I stumbled upon a copy of Led Zeppelin III for $1.
I'm talking about a GEM.
May 9, 2016 was the day I purchased the 1987 Georgio record, "Sex Appeal."
We see the Sex Appeal right away, and unfortunately one of its nipples is showing.
Let's go over a few things:
1. Look at that belt!
LOOK AT IT.
That thing has something, but I don't think it's sex appeal. It may be snake parts.
2. Did he just get finished painting....his hair? What is the story with his shorts? And the yellow glove?
3. Look at that belt!
Alright, let's head to the back:
Chest/belt, part 2!
And somehow his shorts contain MORE paint. Did the photographer (back cover says it was Aaron Rapoport) catch Georgio in the act of painting and they both decided "you know what - we're here, you're already painting, want to just shoot the album cover?" ?
Two nipples!
On to the music? I guess?
Side 1
1 - "Sex Appeal". The title track gives us a nice glimpse of what the entire record is going to be like: bad synthesizers, human moaning (or: a dog tail having to listen to a dog's tail being stepped on) & just long.
So: classic Georgio.
2 - "Lover's Lane"
Chorus: "Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane!"
Quick conversation between Georgio and his lady friend:
Girl - "Georgio, if my father caught us up here, he'd kill us."
Georgio (monotone) - "Kill us?"
Girl (slightly-less monotone) - "Kill us."
Georgio - "Well don't worry about it baby. Just trust me, OK?"
Girl - "OK."
3 - "1/4 2 9". I don't know what the title is supposed to mean, but my guess is 1/4 of the people who bought this record were deaf and the other 29 thought they were buying a romantic novel-on-record called Georgio.
Lyric of our lifetime: "My father told me that God was great, in which I pray every night, real late."
4 - "Menage A Trois".
Side 2
5 - "Bed Rock". [Still recovering from 'Menage A Trois', missed most of track]
6 - "Tina". Opening sequence: 15 consecutive seconds of "work, work, work, work, work, work, work wa-wa-wa-work."
None of this is making any sense at all.
7 - "Hey You". By track 7 Georgio just doesn't care anymore. It's 1987 and he's the next Prince, or at the very least he walked down the sidewalk past the studio where Prince had been recording.
At one point during this song, Georgio alternates from saying he's tired to saying he wants to dance.
Is he tired or does he want to dance?!
8 - "I Won't Change"
An actual lyric from this song:
"Don't you want to see me naked, baby?"
Seen it, Georgio.
SEEN IT.
-
Now, I'm not talking about something like when I stumbled upon a copy of Led Zeppelin III for $1.
I'm talking about a GEM.
May 9, 2016 was the day I purchased the 1987 Georgio record, "Sex Appeal."
We see the Sex Appeal right away, and unfortunately one of its nipples is showing.
Let's go over a few things:
1. Look at that belt!
LOOK AT IT.
That thing has something, but I don't think it's sex appeal. It may be snake parts.
2. Did he just get finished painting....his hair? What is the story with his shorts? And the yellow glove?
3. Look at that belt!
Alright, let's head to the back:
Chest/belt, part 2!
And somehow his shorts contain MORE paint. Did the photographer (back cover says it was Aaron Rapoport) catch Georgio in the act of painting and they both decided "you know what - we're here, you're already painting, want to just shoot the album cover?" ?
Two nipples!
On to the music? I guess?
Side 1
1 - "Sex Appeal". The title track gives us a nice glimpse of what the entire record is going to be like: bad synthesizers, human moaning (or: a dog tail having to listen to a dog's tail being stepped on) & just long.
So: classic Georgio.
2 - "Lover's Lane"
Chorus: "Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane...Lover's Lane!"
Quick conversation between Georgio and his lady friend:
Girl - "Georgio, if my father caught us up here, he'd kill us."
Georgio (monotone) - "Kill us?"
Girl (slightly-less monotone) - "Kill us."
Georgio - "Well don't worry about it baby. Just trust me, OK?"
Girl - "OK."
3 - "1/4 2 9". I don't know what the title is supposed to mean, but my guess is 1/4 of the people who bought this record were deaf and the other 29 thought they were buying a romantic novel-on-record called Georgio.
Lyric of our lifetime: "My father told me that God was great, in which I pray every night, real late."
4 - "Menage A Trois".
Side 2
5 - "Bed Rock". [Still recovering from 'Menage A Trois', missed most of track]
6 - "Tina". Opening sequence: 15 consecutive seconds of "work, work, work, work, work, work, work wa-wa-wa-work."
None of this is making any sense at all.
7 - "Hey You". By track 7 Georgio just doesn't care anymore. It's 1987 and he's the next Prince, or at the very least he walked down the sidewalk past the studio where Prince had been recording.
At one point during this song, Georgio alternates from saying he's tired to saying he wants to dance.
Is he tired or does he want to dance?!
8 - "I Won't Change"
An actual lyric from this song:
"Don't you want to see me naked, baby?"
Seen it, Georgio.
SEEN IT.
-
Apr 21, 2016
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 1, 2016
Workout program
Personal trainer Bobby Feathers, creator of world-famous workout videos At Least Do One Sit-up and Now We're Blubbersizing!, presents his third installment, Untitled Workout Video.
Monday
Workout: Solo thumb wars - left vs. right.
Diet: For breakfast/lunch, engage in a serious political discussion with a stick of butter. For dinner, watch a Hardees commercial.
Extra-curricular: Seduce a curling iron.
Tuesday
Workout: Sit down(s). Beginners: sit down slowly.
Diet: Breakfast/lunch, drink 3 ounces of beef broth. Dinner, call a random number in the phone book and initiate a conversation about cottage cheese.
Extra-curricular: Improvised whistling for 6 seconds
Wednesday
Workout: Daydream about roller skating.
Diet: For breakfast/lunch/dinner, chew on some notebook paper.
Extra-curricular: Massage a beach towel
Thursday
Workout: Crawl 3 laps around the dining room table. At the end of each lap, scream the name of your 4th grade teacher. Example: "Mrs. Vanderells!!"
Diet: Breakfast/lunch, celery shavings. For dinner, bathe in soy sauce.
Extra-curricular: High-five practice with your goldfish.
Friday
Workout: Knee taps. Do four reps of six knee taps. For beginners: simulated knee tapping.
Diet: For breakfast/lunch, on a piece of paper, write down the name of your favorite salad dressing. For dinner, insult a plate of fat-free turkey bacon.
Extra-curricular: Rehabilitate a dying shampoo bottle.
Monday
Workout: Solo thumb wars - left vs. right.
Diet: For breakfast/lunch, engage in a serious political discussion with a stick of butter. For dinner, watch a Hardees commercial.
Extra-curricular: Seduce a curling iron.
Tuesday
Workout: Sit down(s). Beginners: sit down slowly.
Diet: Breakfast/lunch, drink 3 ounces of beef broth. Dinner, call a random number in the phone book and initiate a conversation about cottage cheese.
Extra-curricular: Improvised whistling for 6 seconds
Wednesday
Workout: Daydream about roller skating.
Diet: For breakfast/lunch/dinner, chew on some notebook paper.
Extra-curricular: Massage a beach towel
Thursday
Workout: Crawl 3 laps around the dining room table. At the end of each lap, scream the name of your 4th grade teacher. Example: "Mrs. Vanderells!!"
Diet: Breakfast/lunch, celery shavings. For dinner, bathe in soy sauce.
Extra-curricular: High-five practice with your goldfish.
Friday
Workout: Knee taps. Do four reps of six knee taps. For beginners: simulated knee tapping.
Diet: For breakfast/lunch, on a piece of paper, write down the name of your favorite salad dressing. For dinner, insult a plate of fat-free turkey bacon.
Extra-curricular: Rehabilitate a dying shampoo bottle.
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 11, 2016
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 8, 2016
Jan 30, 2016
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 19, 2016
Independent baseball leagues
Chatham (VA) Dillows
Manalapan (NJ) Mustard
Sugarland (TX) Wool
Columbia (TN) Mailboxslugs
Fripp Island (SC) Night
Tusayan (AZ) Ocean Lamps
Missoula (MT) Marvs
Tiverton (RI) Yolk
Provo (UT) Where
Gulfport (MS) Sandscrews
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 5, 2016
Illinois-Iowa League
Elmhurst (IL) Armadarks
Cedar Rabids (IA) Glueguns
Waterloo (IA) Wallbruise
Skokie (IL) Bubgums
Sioux City (IA) Carpetsquid
Oskaloosa (IA) Murrays
Joliet (IL) Whitefish
Evanston (IL) Drivewaysnails
Rock Island IL) Yootrow
Dubuque (IA) Crubbs
Derwood Minor Leagues
Jan 3, 2016
Northeast League
Oil City (PA) Hoilers
Morristown (NJ) Ceilingsquirrels
Yonkers (NY) Gravel
Ithaca (NY) Sawdust
Syracuse (NY) Skytrout
West Orange (NJ) Passioncats
Norwich (CT) Darrens
Peekskill (NY) Riverpossum
West Haven (CT) Cake
Jersey City (NJ) Grass Sharks
Jan 1, 2016
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