Dumpster off limits

Other warnings:

"Quit trying to drink that puddle water"
"Get down from that chandelier"
"No ostrich allowed in the dugout"

Ne u a melt 29

Super Bowl Picks

Last year, Derwood was right on 19% of his picks and ate six bowls of chili and 17 brown things stuffed with cheese, both Henington family-uninvited-guest records.


National anthem: Forehead (featuring Lil' Shellfish)

Opening kick off: PPD

Over/under corn chips eaten (Southeast region of United States): 680,000

Ken O'Brien: inactive

Playing the percentages:

"Pinning your ears back" - 22%
"Taken to the woodshed" - 31%
Run "between the tackles" - 77%
"Tighten up your bootstraps" - 4%
"Ball recognition" - 9%
"Bow your neck" - .3%
"Playing the field position game" - 62%
"Third and manageable" - .1%

MVP: N/A

Final score: Giants 27, Patriots 20

Championship

New Jersey Devils

Cigarette prices go up at local gas station

Also for sale:

* Bag of corn chips - $18
* Air fresheners - 3 for $40
* Photographs taken with parking lot oil stains - $24.99