Basketball phrases - season opener

The 2022-23 basketball season has begun, so that means foolery from announcers. 

Let's get started with the Louisiana-East Tennessee State game on ESPNU from November 13....

"he's just quick and keeps the ball on a string"

"better get out and contest because they are feeling it, tonight in Asheville!"

"playing the foul game" (2)

"he's heady"

"the clock is their friend"

11/13 - Stanford women-Portland, ESPN

"they used their execution to their advantage"

!

11/13 - Vermont at Cal State Fullerton, espn+

"in the first edition of these two schools"

"before we get to the meat of this broadcast"

"to service all of your Cal State Fullerton apparel needs"

"he's been a bit of an aspiration for them" 

"getting off the scoring snide"

"a 5-4 swiss army knife"

"will get tallied with the foul"

"offensive injection"

(one announcer to the other) "you have a bit of a questionable smirk on your face"

"I like the headiness"

"the lone star state"

"emphatic enthusiasm"

"court awareness"

"the bread and butter shot"

"it is splash mountain out there!"

11/13 - Oklahoma State at Oakland, espn+

"this place is off the chains, as you might expect"

"they have been running, and gunning!"

"the white out....they are whited out!"

11/15 - LA Clippers at Dallas, Bally Sports

"pocket pass" (2)

"it's matching the weariness of the legs"

"rekindle their on-court relationship"

"stretch five"

"he's gonna use his skill set to score the basketball"

!

11/16 - Iowa at Seton Hall, FS1

"he understands position basketball"

"let the game come to him"

"he had lots of sass from the perimeter last year"

"the transfer route"

"a good get away foul"

?

"he's been their rock in The Rock"

"Iowa has a lot of basketball savvy"

"and again - drano at the free throw line"

11/16 - Gonzaga at Texas, ESPN2

"he's got NBA eyes on him"

"he's a mid major assassin!"

11/16 - Golden State at Phoenix, ESPN

Marc Jackson, after a basket is scored: 

"Devin Booker says 'allow me to have this dance'."

11/17 - Old Dominion vs Virginia Tech, ESPN2

Perry Clark "basketball" count: 21

"he's got a swagger"

"they're not shy at all about embracing what they accomplished"

"loose change"

"rise and fire"

"picking and popping"

"a 30 and 10 nugget"

"across the ESPN family of networks"

"as long as you know what you're trying to do you can make it work"

"he's a complete basketball player"

11/17 - Murray State vs. Texas A&M, ESPN2

"a high energy freshman"

"Quincy Adams can't join the three-point party"

"they can score in bunches"

"create his off the bounce"

"paint touch"

"so good at getting downhill"

"the ball pressure was all over him"

"they recruit diamonds in the rough"

"this is what you call 'ball watching'"

"he has to have someone help the helper"

"they're really good, high IQ guys"

"make it a free throw shooting contest"

11/17 - Michigan-Arizona State, ESPN2

"basketball royalty"

11/17 - Nebraska-St. John's, FS1

Close it out, Tim Brando:

"A put it on the flo and show what you know basketball player!"

!!!

Juan Ornelas business card

 

Signs

 

Austin, TX

Football phrases - fall, part 2

All games played 10/22....

Mississippi State-Alabama, ESPN

"there's no chaos in his mind, it's just poise"

"a wanted commodity"

"out-executing"

"it's kind of basketball on grass"

?

Washington-California, ESPN

"a bend but don't break defense...now you're getting to the part of the field where it's gonna be tough to bend"

"he doesn't run with his pads"

"fourth and forever"

The Rod Gilmore Trifecta of Nonsense

"they move around what they do back there"

"Cal is forcing Washington other than something that they have been"

"it's a good job by the Cal philosophy" 

Bowling Green-Central Michigan, espn3

pxp: Dan Gutowsky

cc: Adam Breneman

DG

"the tailgate parties are off the charts"

"when his legs are right they are going to make some impact"

!

"he's not just a physical specimen, he gets it between the ears, too"

!

"they took a short play and turned it into a jumbo"

AB

"it's good on good, strength on strength"

"he's what I call a gadget running back"

"what I like to call sneaky athletic"

"quarterback guru"

Texas-Oklahoma State, ABC

"giving Spencer Sanders and this offense prime real estate"

"chunk play"

"he can get to a hole with a drop of a hat"

"tackling one of the biggest things for Oklahoma State"

thanks, color commentator Dusty Dvoracek!

Signs

Northport, AL

Signs

Columbus, MS

HomeTowne Studios: you "get" what you "pay for"

The date: Monday, October 10, 2022

The location: HomeTowne Studios, Louisville, Kentucky

Cigarette butts: 

in toilet - 1

overall - 1

This is budget traveling (total room cost for one night: $51.89 + unlimited tap water), so it's going to be a bit more broccoli than chicken.

A bit more diaper under the sink than no diaper under the sink.

If there's one thing to find that makes you 100% certain no one cleaned up after the last guest checked out of your room other than I suppose, body, it's diaper. 

Here's the diaper in the room: 

And here it is after I kicked it out of the room:

Also kept a bug count throughout the evening. Let's call it the Live(anddead) Bugblog until I can think of a better name.

Our first of the night

We'll call him the opening act, but the headliner was the bug found INSIDE the microwave. 

Inside. 

Now, I was once called the Ansel Abrams of my generation, so the lighting in this photo isn't great, but please trust me, there was a bug CRAWLING AROUND INSIDE THE MICROWAVE.

Final count

Alive - 9 (could've been the same bug each time, but I simply can't give HomeTowne Studios the benefit of the doubt). It was 9 different bugs.

No longer with us - 11

Total - 20

Overall hotel grade: 26 (out of 4,300)

Sports photos by Bobby Feathers

 

Kansas City Royals at Cleveland Guardians - October 4, 2022

N.C. State at Notre Dame - October 6, 2022

Football phrases - College football fall part 1

The 2022 college football season is upon us, and that means grown men and women yelling nonsense.

We start with the September 1st West Virginia-Pittsburgh game. This game is referred to as "The Backyard Brawl", and the reason I know that is because the announcing team said the expression 13 times.....

and I started watching the game with about 8 1/2 minutes left in the third quarter.

Other nonsense:

"remember when I said this game was energy drink? now it's more lukewarm milk"

"coming up with a PBU" (just say pass break up)

"backs against the wall"

"look out for No. 12 because he's gonna be getting better, a lot"

!

WVU up 31-24, 10 1/2 minutes left:

"every possession counts"

9/2 - Virginia Tech-Old Dominion, ESPN

"use his legs as a check down"

"they are holding up this game because some coaches are caught in the elevator"

9/15 - Kansas City-San Diego, NFL Network

"almost...almost...but no cigar."

"Herbert trying to take a page out of Patrick Mahomes"

Mahomes is made of pages?

"the loser of this game's gonna have a loss"

thanks, Al Michaels!

10/8 - North Carolina-Duke, ESPN

"shake him out of his boots"

"he runs a lot bigger than that"

"laying some wood"

10/10 - Las Vegas-Kansas City, ESPN

"they window dressed it a little differently"

10/13 - NC Central-Morgan State, ESPN2

"he's a well put together specimen"

"wrapped up a number of Morgan State jerseys"

"they put him on an island"

* Soccer commercial slogan: PASSION SHOULD NEVER GO HUNGRY

10/16 - Baltimore-NY Giants, CBS

"they use motion to draw eyes"

"Jones on Jones crime on the first play"

"it becomes an arm throw"

"found him over the middle, in the briar patch!"