Oct 20, 2018

College football 2018 - October 13-20

Diary No. 2 of the season takes us through the games of October 13 and 20, 2018.


10/13


Nebraska-Northwestern, ABC

What a great start to the day as the noon broadcast team of Mark Jones & generic white guy with large neck (GWGWLN) provided two phrase of the day nominees:

"changing personnel groupings"

"he loves the game of football and it shows on tape"

Two terrible drives in overtime, but Nebraska's was much worse - bad snap, awful INT, no points. Northwestern's 37-yard field goal wins it. Nebraska 0-6 for the first time.

Time to change personnel groupings.


Tennessee-Auburn, SEC Network

I love the first "skill set" of the day. Sometimes it's better than a good breakfast.


Thank you for the analysis

[after an interception] "not the play you wanted"

In related news, this is not the game I wanted.


Louisville-Boston College, Fox

"the new Beamer Ball"
"the field awareness and the body awareness"
"has the NFL scouts drooling"

Questions

"it's unheard of sometimes"   ?
"does anybody grind it like Steve Addazio?"   ?


Troy-Liberty, Liberty Flames Sports Network

"he came up, smelled it, and made the play"
"flying to the football"
"keeping his feet and picking up a ton of YACs!"
"tackle in space"
"just throw it into the student section"

Great name: Troy linebacker Antonio Showers

"he rumbles more than he slithers"
"the red zone" (4)

Referee, late second quarter: "number five reported into the game as number one"

!


Michigan State-Penn State, Big 10 Network

The referee had a camera on his hat, so of course it was called "hat cam" and said eight times.


James Laurinaitis:

"it's a gaping hole, it parts like the red sea"
"hostile environment"
"set the edges"
"he watches tape, so he never has an off day"/"he shows up a lot on film"
"big body guys"
"talk about a specimen! Cam Brown?!"
[Michigan State at its own 30, third-and-13] "this is not where you want to be right now if you're the Spartans"


Michigan State with a go-ahead touchdown with 19 seconds left, wins 21-17.

But also

Complete nonsense

"he did not make a football move"
"running behind their pads"


10/20


Colorado State-Boise State, ESPN2 (October 19)

"late hands"
"snatching an 80-30 ball out of the air"
"that wasn't on anybody's grease board"


Maryland-Iowa, ESPN2

Halftime score just popped up: Rutgers 12, Northwestern 7

Those moments where you're watching a game and wishing you were watching another? This is not one of those moments.

Comment of the season nominee, Mark Jones

"an aspiring dentist...I tell you, he's been rattling some fillings out there today"


Campbell-Monmouth, espn3

"strike pay dirt"
"tough sledding up front"
"a little case of the dropsies"
"game of inches"
"that's complimentary football"
"Vinny Grosso just makes plays, that's all he does"

bumper stickers (set of two):


    VINNY GROSSO JUST MAKES PLAYS

    THAT'S ALL HE DOES


Colorado-Washington, Fox

"the wildcat package"
"he plays that hybrid role"
"pocket movement"
"drop it into a tight window"
"it's something they've been able to hang their hat on"
"mayhem moment"

Brady Quinn:

"you'd call that a pretty pleasant run, by Kamari Pleasant"

!


Minnesota-Nebraska, Big 10 Network

"he mines the sticks"
"second and medium"
"he's got a nose for the football"
"it's cliche to say 'he's a football player'"

!!


Mississippi State-LSU, ESPN

"he's got home run hitting potential"
"death valley"
"they play with lethal simplicity"
"just how cerebral he is"
"back shoulder fade"
"that's situational and field awareness"

10/13-20 awarenesses

FINAL

body
situational
field

Oct 7, 2018

College football 2018 - October 6

Diary No. 1 of the 2018 season begins with a noon kickoff of Texas-Oklahoma. Joel Klatt and Gus Johnson on the call for FS1.

The silliness gets started right away as Klatt talks about the Sooners: “they are fast, they are physical, but most important, they’re hungry!”

Importance Rankings - Oklahoma Sooners 
#1 - hunger 
Honorable mention - all of that other stuff (like speed and strength).

and the rivalry: “described as culture vs. culture”. 

Joel's on a roll (breakfast place owned by four guys named Joel) giving us “very Lamar Jacksonesque”, followed closely by a “Tim Tebowesque”.

Oklahoma averages 13 ½ points in the first quarter, followed by a Sooners' touchdown. 7-0 2:40 in. But Texas, despite a delay of game on its first offensive snap (!), answers a couple minutes later, 7-7. Defense seems like it might be optional today.

During a replay “complete the process of the catch” or some variation of that was said six times.

Texas up 10-7 through one quarter. Before we leave, a few more from Klatt and Johnson:

“keep those legs churning”
“pushing the pile”
“he’s a guy who’ll be playing on Sundays”
“catch radius”
“a layered pass”


Alabama-Arkansas, ESPN

I'd put Arkansas' top two names up against any top two in the country.

Bumper Pool, freshman linebacker 
Britto Tutt, junior defensive back

“still learning situational awareness” is a nonsense phrase and I won't acknowledge it as anything.

Arkansas with a big stop on fourth and one down 21-7 early second, trying to stay in the game. Then a terrible fumble on goal line. Can’t turn a touchdown into a lost fumble and expect to beat Alabama.

**
Is RW Good Times a restaurant? Did they all close down or did I imagine the restaurant? RW Good Times is either a dream I had or a real place that no longer exists. It’s one or the other.
**

Tua Tagovailoa – 16 TD and 0 INT this season, Alabama up 28-7. Arkansas’s defense is not good, they’ll give up at least 56 today. 

I’m not going to spend anymore time watching Alabama practice its plays against a JV team.


Tulane-Cincinnati, ESPNU

“into plus territory” was said three times within the first two minutes of turning on this game.

“escapability” is nonsense, but Roy Philpott and Tom Ramsey aren’t done there!

“they get hats on hats”

!!

bumper sticker:






“some big boy football”
“he’s just a two-gapper”
“opportunistic football”
“a sense of urgency to get the ball into plus territory”

Cincinnati fourth and 3, but Tulane has 12 men on the field. First down, THEN Tulane calls a timeout?

What is this timeout for?


Maryland-Michigan, ABC

Great stretch of nonsense from the broadcast team of Steve Levy and Brian Griese.

“assignment football”

bumper sticker:

ASSIGNMENT FOOTBALL

“road grade”
“internal pass rush specialist”
“win the turnover battle”
“money down”
“worth the price of admission”
“battering ram”
“Sparty”

And also, don’t call Mike Alstott “the A train”, Brian Griese.

I’ve been counting how many times I hear the word “football” and I have a feeling by the end of the day, Brian Griese is going to be responsible for about 1/3 of the tally.

Michigan's defense is really good.

Hang on....

“they’re gonna dress it up with window dressing”

"????(?)?"

- ?, 37

Seems like a good time to move on.


East Carolina-Temple, ESPNNEWS

Four quick things before I watch both Temple and East Carolina play for the final few seconds ever:

1. Good heavens, East Carolina is horrible.

2. Why does Temple play at the Philadelphia Eagles’ stadium? Every time I see a Temple game at this stadium there is no one in attendance.

3. “the pad crack heard round the world”

The world? No. The pad crack heard by the players on the sideline closest to where the play occurred? Yes.

4. Temple running back: Jager Gardner. Jager isn’t a first name, I'm terribly sorry.


Kansas-West Virginia, ESPN2

“it feels like one of those gut check drives”
“fresh legs”
“the Big 12 equation”

Equations!

“change the complexion of the Big 12”

Complexions!

And I'm sorry, but if Kansas is involved the Big 12 complexion isn’t going anywhere.

“the energizer bunny on that defense”
“outside the numbers”
“the business side of college football”
“coachable”
“crucial road test”

Kansas five sacks, forced four turnovers, down 28-14. Kansas’ best against the top teams in the country is down two touchdowns early in the fourth quarter.

“he puts the fear of god into Kansas opponents”
“he’s like trying to catch a feather in the wind....in a tornado!”


Stephen Austin-Sam Houston State, espn3

Sf Austin quarterback: Foster Sawyer.


Missouri-South Carolina, SEC Network

Ad: “no one covers the SEC like we do”

You’re the SEC NETWORK! Please cover the SEC better than every one else.


Indiana-Ohio State, Big 10 Network

They didn't say it, but no one covers the Big 10 like the Big 10 Network.

Is Indiana ever going to be good?

OSU has won 23 consecutive games in the series & few have been close. Last Indiana non-loss was a 27-27 tie in October, 1990, last win was 41-7 in October, 1988. So not a single Indiana player’s older sibling was born the last time OSU didn’t win or tie in this series.

Ad: Pizza Hut. “Official pizza of college football. No one out pizzas the hut.” Out pizzas isn’t a thing, but if it was Pizza Hut wouldn’t be doing it.

Brady Quinn:

“Dwayne Haskins’ skill set”
“penetrate gaps”
“he put it right in the cradle (chuckles)...right in the bread basket”
“freaky athlete”

Indiana runs a weird fake reverse and pass for a touchdown, 14-10 OSU now. Needs to be more weird plays in football.


Fresno State-Nevada, ESPN

Injured Nevada quarterback Ty Gangi statistics shown on screen pre-game: 1,300 yards, 11 touchdowns, six interceptions.

Play-by-play man Mike Corey: "Ty Gangi was having an incredible season."

Mike, China Buffet in Decatur, Georgia is incredible. 


San Diego State-BYU, ESPNU


“hybrid linebacker”
“the Aztecs dial it up”
“flip the field position”
“San Diego State wants to stack the box”

“thrusted into a leadership role”
“effort sack”


Northern Illinois-Ball State, espn3

Comment of the day from play-by-play man Jim Barbar:

“they’re separated by just four days...in birth”

Thanks, Jim!


Other choices:

“they’re separated by just four days...by moped”
“they’re separated by just four days...in where they are in "The Great Gatsby”




"football"

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