"Football": a retrospective

11/25/06 - James Madison at Youngstown State, ESPN2 - Eric Collins and Kelly Stouffer

1st quarter: 24

Collins - 12

Stouffer - 12

2nd - 21

C- 14

S - 7

3rd - 22

C - 7

S - 15

4th - 15

C - 7

S - 8

Total: 82

College football nonsense diary, 2019 part 1

Nonsense diary No. 1 of the new season gets started with the defending national champions, Clemson against Georgia Tech on the ACC Network (8/29).

[2018 diaries]

"the ball in the belly of the back"

"this is from our stick cam"

"freakish athlete"

"third and forever"

Our first 'third and' of the season!

It arrives at the 8:39 mark of the opening quarter.

"his Heisman resume"

"Death Valley"

"play at the next level"

"he's become more of an alpha dog"

Wisconsin-South Florida, 8/30, ESPN

Dave Flemming and Louis Riddick:

"pocket passer"

"Jack Coan left some throws on the table"

"he's just being the point guard out there, that's what good quarterbacks do"

"the smash-mouth style"

"the character of this football team"

"complimentary football"

"at Jerry's World"

"legitimate big play ability"

Colorado-Colorado State, 8/30, ESPN News

Roy Philpott and commentator Kelly Stouffer,

a Nonsense Legend who never disappoints...

"clean pocket"

"be disciplined at the point of attack"

"plus territory" (3)

"the Manning Passing Academy"

"statement drive"/"a statement reception"

"physicality"

"couldn't get enough mustard on that throw"

"the football factory that is DeSoto High School"

"Mel Kiper's big board"

First of the season: 14:13 left in the second quarter

"a volume tackler"

"RPO"

"trust your eyes, trust your weapon"

"trying to change the culture"

"a consummate route-runner that can handle the entire route tree"

!

Early candidate for phrase of the year from Stouffer.

"arm talent"

"he's a physical, downhill pile mover"

!

And there's another.

"Rocky Mountain showdown" (8)

"personnel grouping"

"he has some hiccups in his fundamentals"

"your contested catch maker"

"this is what hungry looks like"/"it's the hunger to go get the line to gain"

Georgia State-Tennessee, 8/31, ESPNU

Clay Matvich and Ryan Leaf

"dual threat senior"

"he's the security blanket"

"go through your progressions"

"second and manageable"/"third and manageable"

"off the field under his own power"

"toughness breeds confidence"

"Rocky Top" (4)

"a gut check fourth quarter"

"the Jeremy Pruitt regime"

"strong SEC ties"

"they've struggled to be explosive"

!

"the Big House"

"it's in his DNA"

"coach speak"

"football acumen"

South Alabama-Nebraska, 8/31, ESPN

"the hype machine is humming in Lincoln"
"Heisman hopeful"
"he's a big boy....a downhill runner"
"elite dual threat"
"efficiency through his progressions"
"tale of the tape"
"the Jaguars will try to flip the field"

Toledo-Kentucky, 8/31, SEC Network

"the heart and soul of the Kentucky defense"
"collapsing the pocket"
"bulldozed to the ground"
"the opportunity to tuck and run" (2)
"Mark Stoops rolls the dice"
"elevated in the depth chart"
"he's just a gutty quarterback"
"three-headed monster trying to replace Benny Snell"
"third and a mile"
"a known commodity in your run game"

Fresno State-USC, 8/31/ESPN

"air raid" (12)

['air raid' - 11, 'air raid light' - 1]

"second and medium"

"an embarrassment of riches"

"he's been in the medical tent"

"big bodied defensive end"

"dial up pressure"

"the trenches"

"short field"

"David taking on Goliath"

"there's a lot of scrappy in Fresno State"/"there's a lot of gutty with this Fresno State team"

South Carolina-North Carolina, 8/31, ESPN

"a little border war"

"they're craving for structure, they're craving for leadership...Mack Brown is giving it to them"

"value the football"

"Mack Brown's a football coach"

"he'll be playing on Sundays"

"chunk plays"

"a big powerful, offensive line they want to hang their hat on"

"you're in take a shot position"

"third down and a mile"

"sell out to stop the run"

Colgate-Air Force, 8/31, espn3

"the expectation bar is set high for these two teams"

"that's inside, up there in the brier patch"

"dummy motion"

"he's their burner"

"they won the numbers battle"

Houston-Oklahoma, 9/1, ABC

"win the down"

"collapsing the pocket"

"yards in big chunks"

"a lot of air raid ties"

"top flight wide receiver"

"a trick 'em route"

Notre Dame-Louisville, 9/2, ABC

"the road warrior mentality"

"brings the program fresh energy"/"he's already made some changes to the culture"

"game reps"

"the nose of the football"

"get him the ball in space"

"blue chip player"

"moved the sticks with his feet"

"great catch radius" (3)

"he's a hybrid guy"/"that hybrid rover spot"

"the glue of the Notre Dame defense"

"independent ball movement"

"flying to the football"

"ball security drills"

"fumbleitis broke out"

"Mr. Football"

Football phrases diary part 3

Games played from 9/29 - 10/7


Nebraska-Illinois, 9/29, FS1

"walk off under his own power"
"speed rush"
"bubble screen"
"eyes to the tuck"

?

"scoop and score"
"that's a make your quarterback look good moment"
"trying to overwhelm Illinois, like waves on a beach - over and over again until they break"

!

"gang tackled"
"power football"
"wheelhouse" (2)


USC-Washington State, 9/29, ESPN

"USC, are they battle-tested, or battle-scarred?"
"the 'it' factor"
"fresh legs"

Our first 'fresh legs' of the season!

"that's all want-to and willpower"
"prototypical NFL pocket passer"
"violent hands"
"plus territory" (2)
"he's very cerebral"
"un-Mike Leachesque"

Again -

"un-Mike Leachesque"


Clemson-Virginia Tech, 9/30, ABC

"stem the tide"
"the linebackers are trying to eat tonight too"
"ball hawking safety"


Indianapolis-Seattle, 10/1, NBC

"the 12th man" (3)
"the legion of boom"


Washington-Kansas City, 10/2, ESPN

Hello again, Jon Gruden:

"edge player"
"grinder"
"this Hogs 2.0 outfit"
"situational awareness"

This phrase is 100% nonsense.

"the Toledo Rocket rockin' the NFL!"
"bells and whistles"
"he's been selling chemistry"

I was a boy scout for a couple years, and once a year we'd go around to houses and try to sell items from this giant suitcase to make money for the troup. One of those items was a chemistry set.

THAT'S selling chemistry.

"hard count"
"they bring juice on the opposite side"


Boise State-BYU, 10/6, ESPN

"I love this guy as a football player"
"extremely high football IQ"
"dragged down in space"


Minnesota-Purdue, 10/7, ESPN

Welcome to the Kelly Stouffer Hour, sponsored by Nonsense

"ball hawks"
"continuity up front"
"chip on their shoulder"
"big body tight end "(2)
"splash plays"
"gadget plays"
"RPO - run, pass option"
"multiple personnel groupings"
"hard count"
"pre-snap intel"
"third and forever"
"legacy Boilermaker"
"he's a game manager"


Fresno State-San Jose State, 10/7, ESPN

"rivalries are just what they are: rivalries"

You can say that about absolutely everything, commentator Forrest Conoly. Look:

Cupcakes are just what they are: cupcakes.
Train schedules are just what they are: train schedules.


"handed the keys to the offense"
"a team that plays through the whistle"


Western Illinois-Northern Iowa, 10/7, Panther Sports Network

"bend but don't break"
"a fresh set of sticks"
"pocket awareness"
"change of pace back"


Michigan State-Michigan, 10/7, ABC

"legacy game"
"move the sticks"
"in the trenches"
"exotic pressure"
"the Paul Bunyan Trophy"


San Diego State-UNLV, 10/7, ESPN

"he's going to have to grow up fast in a hurry"

!


Rest of San Diego State-UNLV game

"student of the game"
"play the sticks"
"hat on a hat"
"old school power back"
"Big 12 flag bearer"
"throwing window"



Previous diaries

9/16-9/23
9/1-9/4