Mar 30, 2010

ILTCSC re-visits an old friend

"OK....this is off the record, but I probably find Tim Duncan as boring as you find Tim Duncan. Mrs. Duncan found him boring, too. He has a little trouble getting up and down the court, he doesn't relate very well to the power forwards of this generation and his ears are terrible. But that doesn't relieve you from your responsbility for this material. I'm still waiting for a feature story from some of you. Listen, Gregg Popovich is not joking! This is his job!"

Mar 20, 2010

Saturday Silliness

- Grass: $2 per blade
- Empty soda can (not pictured): $.50
- FOR SALE sign: $15
- *SPECIAL* - entire forest for $1,000

Mar 8, 2010

NYY Championship

Champion plays Tengen All-Stars and MeMikeMe

Lineup cards:

Chili Davis

From reader Jeremy Wood: the way...I defy you to give me a better baseball name from the eighties than Chili Davis.

Chili Davis is a fantastic name, but not as good as my No. 1.

10. Spike Owen. I've been going back and forth trying to figure out if this is a tough name or not.

9. Mookie Wilson.

No list is complete without a Mookie.

8. Onix Concepcion. Though not related, he sounds like Dave's little brother that always wanted to play stick ball, but every game ended up the "automatic catcher"

7. Chet Lemon. 'Chet' isn't an acceptable name unless it's immediately followed by 'Lemon'.

6. Pascual Perez.

I always wondered if his head was detachable.

5. Billy Jo Robidoux. Should've been the Ole Miss quarterback during a 4-7 season in 1992.

4. Tippy Martinez. If your friend has had way too much to drink, you can say he/she is 'Tippy Martinez'.

3. Fernando Valenzuela. He was a left-handed pitcher, but with this name he could've been anybody: heroic outlaw; sensitive lover on a low-rated Spanish soap opera; CEO of a company that makes rubber penguins; ice cream man.

2. Chili Davis. Would easily be the coolest dude in the room.....

1. Ozzie Virgil. .....unless this guy was there, too.

Mar 2, 2010

Ramen noodles live blog

5:56 p.m. - At grocery store

5:59 p.m. - Special Crazy Guy Sundays

In cereal aisle:

"Oat and berry? Shoot, I ain't mimblin with Sheron when she clomp the milk bats, baby. Chocula grew a hanky fat, momma. Yoonoiainlion."

6:03 p.m. - Chicken ramen noodle purchased

$.11 change from $1

6:17 p.m. - Water boiling

6:21 p.m. - Water spilled; burned finger (left index)

6:23 p.m. - Throw out peas; red things

6:31 p.m. - Final noodle eaten